Throwback #1: Crossroad

Crossroad” is one of the first few stories which was posted on my blog. It is the first story posted on my blog actually, and the start to a great new journey. A journey which allowed me to meet with writers all over the world, a journey which helps me to explore even my innermost wants and desires, a journey to know myself better.

Writing has been my passion. I must admit I had always been an angry child when I was young. I was constantly compared to someone else: either among my family and relatives, or even my smarter friends. It didn’t matter I was more athletic than those I was compared to. It didn’t matter that I was quieter, an easier child. All it mattered was that I wasn’t smart enough. The only way I sought consolation was through writing.

Writing brings me to my own world. A world which I have in control of what happens. I usually made characters regret they ever looked down on someone. I made the ‘bad guys’ die, the ‘good guys’ live. As I grew older, I realised not all the good guys lived, so I let some of them die too. And when these stories were complete, I would weep, as though I had lost a friend, or a child, a baby.

When I write, the characters come alive and they talk to me. They told me what they wanted, and I could decide whether to give it to them or not. Sometimes, I realised they were simply my innermost desires, and when I denied the characters of these desires, I realised I didn’t want them too.

When I was eighteen, I went through my first heartbreak. The reason why I mentioned this is because, not that I hadn’t gotten over it, but because it was the event in my life which made me realise who truly loved me and who did not – who were those who used me simply for mealtime gossip, or who were the ones who sincerely loved spending time with me and see me do well in life. For this, I am utterly grateful it happened. Since then, my stories are filled with love: love from friends, from family. I did not want anyone to have to suffer from a heartbreak similar, or even worse, than mine. So instead of abandonment, my stories are all about reunion.

Crossroad” is a love story, a reunion, between a married couple – a faithful man who did anything to make his wife happy, a faithful man who would do anything to be with his wife no matter what happens.

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Crossroad

The afternoon was warm and humid. Never before in Singapore had the weather been so bad. The sun shone through the windows of the bus, searing into his bronze skin. He shifted his hand ever so slightly to keep it out of the sun. The bus ride had been bumpy all the way. As the Sunday crowd was starting to thicken, crowding up the bus and causing it to feel stuffier than it already was, he moved uneasily in his seat, taking a deep breath and trying to clear his mind.

Jin was a tall, thirty-two-year-old businessman. Recently he had started a business, what he called a clothing line. In actual fact, he was selling clothes pegs. People in Singapore usually hang their laundry to dry in the sun on bamboo sticks and that would be where his products would come in. They would hold down the laundry, not just preventing them from being blown away by the wind, but from theft too. His pegs, after all, were different. They were made of metal clasps with two plastic handles in which tiny security buttons were attached to them. Once activated, any slightest touch of it would trigger off an alarm that would alert the owner that someone else was trying to steal his or her laundry. The security buttons would run on solar power, generated from the solar panels attached on the outer side of the metal clasp. Jin always thought it was the best idea, since his wife had always complained about someone stealing her lingerie at night. Even though they had found out that the thief was their three-year-old cat, Nibbles, the problem had inspired Jin’s creations. Little did he know that his invention would backfire, landing him with huge amounts of business debts. Not only that, his wife’s chemotherapy bills, which he had expected to clear once he made money from his business, were slowly piling up. His wife’s situation had also deteriorated over the weeks since he started working on his inventions and she had decided to listen to the doctor’s advice to move into the hospital instead. In order to cope with these bills, he had to sell his jet-black Audi convertible and his three-storey landed property in Sixth Avenue. And that was not all! He was also left with a whole bedroom, kitchen and storeroom of pegs and had no idea of what to do with them.

With the failure of his only investment, he had moved into a modest flat in Choa Chu Kang, next to a tiny heartland mall called Sunshine Place. He had changed his entire closet of Armani Exchange suits and Crocodile polo shirts into Giordano cotton tees. As he sat there in the bus on the way to the nearest MRT station, he was wearing his favourite white shirt from Giordano that had a smiley face on it that said, “Cheer You Up!” His wife had suggested them to get identical ones for couple shirts, since they could no longer afford expensive apparel. To their utter astonishment, they found entire streets of Singaporeans wearing them wherever they went. His wife had stopped wearing the shirt since then, but he continued wearing it out whenever he missed her too much.

The bus turned into the bus interchange and he hopped off, tapping his Ez-link card as he went. He made his way to the MRT station, passed the gantry and up the escalator, taking care to keep to his left as he cruised up to the station platform. He felt weird not having his wife by his side when taking the train, or even when going anywhere at all. He was used to holding her hand tight and looking into her soft, tender eyes ever so often. The warmth of her hand was still lingering on his fingers even as he thought about her. She was so frail when he last saw her that it broke his heart.

He stared at the electronic signboard that counted down to the train arrival as he stepped onto the platform. Three minutes to the arrival of his train. He closed his eyes and in his mind, he could still see his wife. Her sweet smile, the fruity scent of her perfume, her tinkling laughter…

A gentle tap on his shoulder woke him up.

“Excuse me,” a bossy voice rang out from the back. “I might be mistaken. But you are Mr. Jin Sway, aren’t you?”

He whirled around to see a middle-aged woman, dressed in plain tee-shirt and jeans and wearing Nike sports shoes standing in front of him. As their eyes met, the woman’s face lit up with glee.

“You really are! I saw you in the papers and bought your pegs! They’re great!”

“Really? I’m flattered. Thank you,” Jin replied modestly.

“But they are a little on the expensive side. It took up my entire month’s pay.”

“I understand,” he continued.

“What inspired you to make them?” the woman questioned.

“My wife,” he told her simply. He recounted the story of the stolen lingerie.

Suddenly at the back of his mind, the laughing image of his wife faded. It was replaced by her thinning face, head bald from the chemotherapy, her eyes filled with pain, sadness and fatigue. Just recounting things to a stranger made him realize how much time he had lost just doing the business while she was so critically ill and how much he actually missed her. He was going to meet her now and this thought made him even more excited than ever. Most of the time he tried to retain memories of his wife’s happy moments. It was what that kept him going after she moved away. Although his last visit was only a day ago, his eyes sparkled with excitement as they flickered to the electronic signboard. One minute. He followed suit as the woman moved to queue up to get onto the train. He had not told his wife that he would be going to see her that day. It would be a pleasant surprise.

His hands fiddled with the wedding ring still sitting on his ring finger while a smile played on his lips. He could remember the first day they met in school, under the old tree filled with ants. He could recall the first time they went on a date, sitting on the grass patch next to the giant canal where he caught pretty fighting fishes for her. He could still feel the pain when they fought that day over moving out of the terrace house and into the small apartment… But no matter, he was going to her now, going to apologize for all the pain he had caused her. Without her, he would never have come this far, even if he was left penniless. She was something, someone he could never do without.

“Where are you heading to, Mr Sway?” the woman’s voice rang out again, turning round to address him once more as the electronic signboard started flashing and the train moved into the station. But Jin was no longer next to her. He was moving, fast, towards the edge of the platform, shouting something no one could hear – for a horrified scream had drowned his voice as he took an intrepid step off the platform and disappeared beneath the train.

Crossroad © 2010 by Ms. Auby Sparksfield. All rights reserved.

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